Don’t ya love it when the right words “appear” at just the right time. As I have mentioned before, probably several times, I use quotes to inspire me. I don’t remember when I began using the words of others to help lift me up and keep me up. Junior high, maybe. I have them posted around my house, in my day planner, even in my car. Like an afternoon rain in the summertime, they offer a respite from life’s heat–a place to escape to for just a moment, away from the pressure and regain balance in the day.
I was weary this past Monday, very weary. Sunday had been: a good day, a long day, an exhausting day, a day for creating memories, and a very, very hot day. In many ways, it was the perfect salty-sweet snack wrapped up in a day.
The sweet: pulling together as a family and “hitting the road” with smiles and giggles at 5:30 AM, watching the sun rise across the plains as we drove 2 and 1/2 hours to the south, seeing my daughter compete in the state archery competition, witnessing my younger daughter reach out to others (something that is difficult for her extremely introverted spirit) and listening to her new stories on the drive home, time with friends at the competition, my husband’s decision to make an impromptu stop at Denny’s on the way home for old-fashioned, celebratory milk-shakes, the youngest’s quick recovery from a stomach bug, arriving home safely, a restful evening, and more giggles.
The salty: August heat in Southern Colorado, the dust of a dry open field archery range, the 2 and 1/2 hour drive home in the afternoon, extending the drive home by 45 minutes while my youngest left her stomach at the rest stop :(, extending it further by the predictable traffic slow downs and a monsoon down-pour.
All in all, the sweet made sweeter by just a little bit of salt.
Nonetheless, the day had left me drained on Monday and work awaited me. I had lesson planning to do; school books went untouched the entire day. There was vacuuming that needed to be done; animal hair still littered the floor as I drug myself up the stairs to bed. Today’s “Wednesday’s Wisdom” blog nagged at my conscience, but given my level of fatigue, I couldn’t have found wisdom in the pages of Aristotle’s diary. With much that needed to be done, and none of it done, I did the one thing I could do; I left everything in God’s hands as I drifted off to coma-land Monday night, and I prayed Tuesday would be a better day.
Well, as the song goes, “What a difference a day makes, 24 little hours…”
Yesterday, I awoke to find a link posted on a friend’s Facebook page; it had the right words at just the right time. (Thanks, Grace!) It shared the wisdom of not just one mom, but of many moms as they answered the question, “If you could go back to right before you became a mother, what would you tell yourself?” It made me ponder what I would tell myself…
I invite you, whether at the start of your mothering journey or, like me, rounding the bend to the empty-nest years, to sit back for a moment. Ignore the dust bunnies and the to-do lists. Breathe deep. Absorb the words of mom’s like you. Listen to the lyrics of the song. Be patient and be gentle with yourself. Embrace the change in your life.
Now, click here: Reflections of Motherhood Video
And now I invite you to share your answer; “If you could go back to right before you became a mother, (or any other pivotal point in life) what would you tell yourself?”
(Written with extreme gratitude to the two fabulous girls that made me a mother and took the pictures with enough love to say, “Oh, um…just one more.” 🙂 You make me smile so often. ♥)
And with thanks to the video creator. Please visit her blog at: http://www.nummies.com/blog/2010/08/reflections-of-motherhood/
by Mary Lanzavecchia 
Great post! I’ve been thinking of doing the “advice” project as well. May I link up to your when I do??
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Thanks! I think it’s a message we all need to hear, repeatedly and often! 🙂 And, yes–I would be honored!
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i LOVE this. and i’m going to have to think on what i would say to myself 5 short years ago… wow. your “motherhood is not a competition” is amazing. it should be in the video 🙂
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Thanks, Maren! I wasn’t sure if “Motherhood is not a competition” would resonate with others, or if it was just reflections of my neurotic competitiveness. 🙂 In particular when my girls were younger, I often looked at other moms as “being so much better at the job than me.” It was (occasionally still is) the most damaging mothering mistake I made– to both me and my children.
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I really laughed at “No one REALLY knows what THEY’re doing” (emphasis is mine) … But, I would refer “they” to our older teens 🙂 Whenever I was suffering and was guilted by another “perfect” mom, I would soon find out her kids were often right in the same situation mine were, but she was oblivious…. and telling her would not have helped. The moms who walked and prayed with me were the true friends. So my advice? As moms we will never agree on every iota of parenting, but we can embrace those who love us for who are and still walk through the great times and the hard times BESIDE us.
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Love, love, love! And love that you have walked beside me for the past decade!
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Oh this is a great question. If I could go back to right before I was married I would tell my husband that I need someone to clean the house at least 4x a month for the rest of our married life…. or the deal is off. ♥ LOL ♥
But seriously, I would tell myself to always remember to have Grace when the kids make a mistake. Just like me, they are learning and we can’t expect them to know and do everything perfect. The same Grace God extends to me is the same Grace I need to extend to my children.
I would also remind myself to take care of my body inside and out. As a mom it is easy to burn out our thyroid and adrenals because we forget to take time to take care of ourselves. We hit the floor running the moment we roll out of bed and sleep when we can. We are being pulled in so many directions that we sometimes forget to take care of ourselves. Take time to nourish and strengthen your body so you will be strong when the kids are grown.
Even though there is a pile of dishes in the kitchen, dinner has not even been started, you have smashed peas in your hair, the laundry needs to be folded, and you are dying for a shower….. get down on the floor and play with your child. The rest of those things will get done, but the window with your child is so small. Enjoy the view everyday.
Life is a marathon, not a race. Slow and steady will get you there just fine.
Say at least 5 encouraging things every day to one negative. And do it EVERY day!
When you need help, reach out. There is not one mom on the planet who has not experienced something similar to what you are going through… reach out for support.
Don’t forget your husband! Love him and show respect for him EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE IT. Put him FIRST on your list after God. Even under the most trying circumstances, you can show love to your husband because God’s grace is sufficient for you. Remembering that love is not primarily a feeling, it is a choice.
Lastly and most importantly, remember that God has EVERYTHING planned for your life and your child’s life. Your job is to wake up, ask what He wants and do it. Be obedient to that and all the other things (big and small) will fall into place.
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Thanks for sharing, Sherri! Simply love everything you added! Especially–“I would tell my husband that I need someone to clean the house at least 4x a month for the rest of our married life…. or the deal is off.” ROTLOL!!
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Motherhood is not a competition. That is one I don’t seem to have learned yet. Beautiful, Mary!
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Thanks, Grace. With over 17 years into the game, I sometimes still forget it, too! Which is why the “Forgive yourself” sign in the video resonated so strongly with me.
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