Although my first post on this blog showed up on January 16, 2011, my real blogging journey began one year ago today with this post about reverse childbirth. I didn’t know if anyone would read it. I said a prayer and pressed “publish.” And then, I waited. I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for, but I knew it as soon as I saw it; a page view statistic. Somebody had clicked on my page and read my blog and it was duly recorded as “1 Page View.” I don’t know who it was, they didn’t leave a comment. But somebody read my page. Actually, 8 somebodys did that day. I suspect one of them was my Sister Ya-ya and another was my Kansas Ya-ya. That left 6 (potential) strangers reading my words, which was enough to make me feel like a writer. And, so my writing journey began.
I started this blog to help me transition with ease into my empty nest years, and I’ve learned so much more than tidbits that will help me downsize the meals I prepare or redecorate my children’s bedrooms, or release them into adulthood. As with any new venture, we gain new insights into ourselves and the world around us–if we are willing to look, listen and feel. Some insights we welcome, others may bring discomfort. I’ve experienced both in this journey and both have been valuable.
Parenting is often survived with your head down, moving from one task to the next, one day to the next, falling into bed, exhausted, and praying coffee will be enough to jump-start you in the morning. Over the last (almost) 18 years, I’ve come to know that cycle well. Though homeschooling affords us more face-time than many get with their kids, it doesn’t guarantee that time is used for authentic connections. Laundry, bills, phone calls, vacuuming, etc. can be more demanding that an over-tired toddler. And, dare I say it, there are days when this mama is just plain tired and can’t listen or talk or mediate or counsel or even be touched anymore by the end of the day. As much as I love being a mother, there are days I want to unplug from the job, but the “days off” in motherhood are rare, and batteries run low, and days slip away with our heads down, going through the motions.
The biggest insight I’ve gleaned from this blog is not a new pearl of wisdom, but rather a powerful reminder. We’ve all been told, “Don’t blink, they’ll be grown and gone before you know it,” but that’s easy to lose sight of when your head is down. Until you’re here, on the cusp of the empty nest years. Though tempting, I have no time to mourn the days passed, or the “would have, should have, could have’s.” There is only today; one more chance to “get it right and be the parent I dreamed I would be.” And, for this renewed awareness, I am so very grateful.
Here are a few of the other “pearls of wisdom” I have gleaned over the last year as a Transitioning Mom:
- This transition period is a time of change for the entire family, and it needs to be handled as such. We are 4 people, bonded as 1 family. In the last several weeks, my older teen and I have often discussed the parallel journeys we are on. I see the same in my younger teen and my husband, and still the process is very individual. I am so very grateful to my family for taking this ride with me so that we may continue our journeys of growth together.
- There is an abundance of great writers out there that offer support and share fabulous wisdom. I’ll admit, I wasn’t an avid blog reader before starting this one. If there’s been no other benefit (which obviously there has been), discovering and reading, and in some cases “cyber meeting” other bloggers has blessed me beyond my wildest expectations. I cannot thank you enough for welcoming me into your fold.
- Additionally, I have been blessed by “visitors” from all over the world. Some remain anonymous and some leave comments. All inspire me to see the world through fresh eyes when I sit down to write. And for all of you, I am grateful.
- It’s never too late to start living the life you dreamed of. I was in middle-school when I first dreamed about becoming a writer. That dream was dashed with a couple of well-placed, albeit unintentional, dream crushing comments by people I trusted. Sound familiar? However, as an adult, I replaced those comments with this one that I have posted in my kitchen: “Cherish your dreams for they are the children of your soul.” And, as a mama, I’ve learned my children need heartfelt nurturing, and my dreams deserve no less.
- My mama taught me, “Patience is a virtue,” and in the last year my family and closest friends have shown me saintly amounts of patience. (“Can you read/listen/proof/edit this?” Not to mention the number of blogging milestone celebrations they have shared with me.) They have shown me the same patience my mom showed me through my tumultuous teen years. Thanks, Mom. Your patience with me was immeasurable and reminds me daily the teen years are only a chapter in this journey. You are loved and you are missed. ♥
- A year of writing has helped me see my father’s wisdom as he was the one who really taught me how to write. I will never again joke about his demands to see my school essays or ask for “his red pen” when he knew I had a paper due. Thanks, Dad. You and that red pen taught me how to write and actually made me want to write some more. My children know your words well. You are loved and you are missed, too. ♥
- Above all, this blog has reminded me that life’s transitions are best handled with a lot of patience and a heaping sense of humor.
What a difference a year makes. Again, I thank you all for joining me in this journey through the transition years.
by Mary Lanzavecchia 
As all those above have said, I love this post, and I love your blog. You constantly give me new ways to look at the pieces of my world, and remind me through this post of my own lack of blog reading ways when I started my blog:
I’ll admit, I wasn’t an avid blog reader before starting this one.
I was frankly frustrated that the best way to get comments on my blog was to leave comments on other peoples’ blogs. I grudgingly read and posted for the first few weeks, after which I realized I was coming to look forward to reading blogs. If left to my own devices, I see the world only through my own eyes. Through blogs, I can see it through so many others, and I’m profoundly grateful for this. And you!
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You were among one of my first “comment-ers” and for YOU, I am profoundly grateful.
Thank YOU for being a source of inspiration and support. I am so glad to have met and developed a friendship with you, Deb. You make my world a richer place.
♥♥
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This was such an insightful post. Isn’t it amazing the lessons we learn as we journey along. I am grateful you felt called to begin your blog. Love to you today–:-)
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Thank you, Kate. I feel the same about you and your blog. I am so grateful for the burst of sunshine your spirit adds to this world.
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LOVE. Congratulations on over a year. You are a wonderful writer, and I’m thankful that you’re sharing here.
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Congratulations on your blogoversary back in January, but more importantly this post which is truly lovely. I’m so glad to have met you. One day I’ll be where you are and I’ll know just what to do because of you.
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Thanks, Renee! I’m so glad to have met YOU! However, my kids may caution you against following any advice I throw out here. 🙂
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This post was so heart-felt and beautiful. I am in still in the very midst of that exhausting parenting cycle you wrote about. I have that nagging reminder in the back of my mind that keeps whispering to me to slow down and try to enjoy the most out every day with my family and my kids NOW because I can see how fast it goes. Some days feel like they are hectic, some drag, then you blink your eyes and the kids are grown up. I am just grateful I am along for that ride. Thanks for a great post!
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So nice to see you here Maineiac!
Look how small the blogo can be!
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Next time, I’ll have cookies and tea to share. 🙂 I love my blogo-friends!
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Thanks, Maineac! Yep, some days do fly by, and some drag. But, it’s all part of the fabulous ride of motherhood. At least that’s what I try to remind myself of when I’m tired. 😉
Thanks for stopping by and for sharing your comment AND for your wonderful blog–that I enjoy so much!
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“As with any new venture, we gain new insights into ourselves and the world around us–if we are willing to look, listen and feel. Some insights we welcome, others may bring discomfort. I’ve experienced both in this journey and both have been valuable.” I totally relate to this statement, TM! I began my blog as a way to “cope” and express the feelings I had about struggling as a single working mom, and now I find that I hardly define myself in that light anymore, although I continue to champion the cause for others in the same position. Blogging and connecting with the variety of folks I have has allowed me to move forward as a person, embrace the journey, and see the joy in this life no matter what-oh, and to count my blessings. So glad I signed up to receive your posts! Very inspiring. 🙂
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“Blogging and connecting with the variety of folks I have has allowed me to move forward as a person, embrace the journey, and see the joy in this life no matter what-oh, and to count my blessings.”
Love this, SWM! And, thank you for sharing! I’m so glad you have joined me here, and that I have joined you there, on your blog. Love it!
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Big smile (but they only let us leave one size of smiley on here!) 🙂
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Beautiful! It’s a treat to read about the blogging experience through someone else’s eyes, but share a lot of the same vision! (I started my blog last Feb, knowing nothing about blogging, and I feel like it took on a life of its own! I had no idea such a supportive community existed in blogging.)
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I love you Jules!
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Finding your blog has been a treat to me–and so was your comment. One of these days, I’m gonna get me my very own slap bracelet so I can display my GoGuiltyPleasures pride to the world!
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What a difference a year makes, indeed! Your post caused me to pause and think about this time last year in my life when I was planning for, preparing for, (and dreading) the day, a few short months later, that my oldest would graduate high school and leave the nest to go to college. Now, as I sit in this new place of having successfully released her to begin her new life away from home, I couldn’t be more proud . . . or content. We as parents give our children roots . . . but the good ones also give them wings. Watching them fly is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced as a mom. Here’s to releasing your own little birdie from her nest and feeling like YOU’RE the one flying, when in fact, she is!
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“Watching them fly is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced as a mom. Here’s to releasing your own little birdie from her nest and feeling like YOU’RE the one flying, when in fact, she is!”
I love this, and it so perfectly reflects your beautiful heart. One more gift of the past year, meeting you!
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I’d like to send a big “Thank you” right back to you. I’ve often thought that reading your blog is like wandering through an incredible butterfly garden. Sometimes I come across a butterfly I’ve seen before but might see it in a beautiful new light which heightens my appreciation. I might be lucky enough to come upon a new, illusive butterfly that opens my mind and senses to all the possibilities that this world presents. Either journey is such a blessing and leaves me excited and wanting more….much like your blog. Congratulations, on your beautiful journey 🙂
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♥♥♥ One of these days, I’m gonna buy an official uniform for my biggest cheerleader. You deserve it. ♥♥♥
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You are a wonderful and wise friend. I enjoy your writing and encourage you to “Follow your dreams”.
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Thank you so much, Marsha! It means more than you know to have you along with me on this journey. Sending you much love!
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This half empty nest stage is a bit like waiting for the other shoe to drop. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on the bright side!
grown and flown–
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Thanks for stopping by and sharing, Grown and Flown! Stopped by your page and love it. I will be a regular follower because we mama’s do best as a flock.
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What a beautiful post, your eloquent words capture the essence of your soul perfectly. So glad you’re a fellow blogger who quietly enhances our lives with your lovely insight.
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Thank you so much, Cindy. I can only hope you get a fraction of the inspiration I get from your blog and your artwork.
♥
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I love your blogs. I can relate to being tired, in fact today I took a “mental health” day and stayed home from work. Granted I only get three short hours alone but in my world that is a lot as I am sure you can relate.
I read your blogs because I think we have similar parenting views and I learn from you. Keep writing and inspiring. Your words encourage me on the hard days and keep my momentum going on the good days. Thanks
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Thanks so much–for reading and commenting! I really appreciate it, and YOUR blog, too.
Three hours would be enough for me to call it a “mental health” day. Sometimes, 30 minutes alone will do, but like you, those days are often elusive. Thank you for your encouragement. It means the world to me! (And, I’ll keep writing as long as you keep writing. 🙂 )
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