I could tell from her tone she was rolling her eyes. I didn’t need to see the side glare to know her mood, but I did as soon as she passed through the kitchen. Before the first sip of coffee had crossed my lips, I was engaged in a silent battle with my 17-year-old this morning. She “didn’t like the way I woke her.” Uh-huh. I’m guessing she didn’t like that I woke her at all this morning, let alone woke her to take a puppy out to potty and empty the dishwasher she was to have emptied the night before.
My jaw clenched tight, I held my tongue. She let me know she was angry, but I didn’t engage; commenting would only make things worse. This is life with a teen. She needed to diffuse and so did I before things escalated. As a parent, my job is to teach responsibility and self-restraint, not enable tantrums. It has been since the beginning.
That’s the deal we make when we become parents. Long before we the day of their birth, we make a promise to our children as we picture tiny toes for tickling and little fingers that will hold our hands. We promise to love them and keep them safe, despite sleep deprivation, carpets stained with grape juice, side glares, and slammed doors. We sign up for snuggles when they are tired and silent treatments when they are angry. Snide comments whispered under the breath as they pass through a room foreshadow the pain of rejection and, like a switch, the storm passes and they are back, wanting your advice, your company, your hand.
It doesn’t take courage to have children; it takes courage to raise children.
She was angry this morning. She had stayed up too late over the weekend and she was feeling the consequences of that choice this morning. I knew she would, but life is filled with lessons one must learn through experience. For her, the morning had come too soon. For me, today was just was another Motherhood Monday ,as well as day 10 of NaBloPoMo.
Yes to all of your post! ” I didn’t engage; commenting would only make things worse.” – Sage words. “It doesn’t take courage to have children; it takes courage to raise children” – This is the honest-to-God truth. Now I can add courageous to a list of my fine qualities! 😉
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Thank you for this! I’m adding courageous to my list, too. 🙂
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Mary, I love this post. We have all been there, yes? And you are so right, raising kids does take courage. We get 18-20 years to really parent and guide, then the rest of our lives we get them as friends. But for it to all work that friend part does have to wait… xo
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Beautiful and oh, so true. I find these days my son, at almost 22, seems more grown up than I am. If I’m in a bad mood he stays on me until I talk about it. Can you imagine? I guess he’s even better than my husband and I are, which is what you want for your children. To be part of who we are, but so much more.
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“To be part of who we are, but so much more.”
Oh, so true!
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BTW, how is Sammy doing? xo
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Thanks for asking. He is recovering really well. We are still awaiting the pathology report. Based on the size of incision and what they removed, we are preparing ourselves for bad news while still praying for the best. We are hoping to hear tomorrow or Wednesday.
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